Latest Blog Posts for Morning Satirical News

• Publishers Deny Inserting Subliminal Messages into Heavily Pirated Books
  on Feb 1, 2014 in Books Jock Stewart news Satire
  New York, NY, February 1, 2014--Geeks with doctoral degrees in computer science and a love of literature have beem working around the clock in a secret high-tech lab inserting subliminal messages and trojan viruses into e-books to discourage pirates...
• Jock Stewart's Holiday Book Buying Guide
  on Dec 6, 2013 in Books
  Since many of them (the authors) have bailed me out of jail for various misunderstandings with the local police force, I'm writing this column about local authors' books that are gathering dust at the Main Street Book Emporium. These are...
• FEDS consider mandating wheat consumption (or else)
  on Oct 29, 2013 in Food and Drink Jock Stewart
  Night Beat FEDS Consider Mandating Wheat Consumption (or else) By Jock Stewart, Special Invesigative Reporter Following up on a tip from SickiLeaks, this reporter infliltrated the paramilitary division of the Congressional Pet Wheat Corporation (CPWC...
• NIGHT BEAT: I'm Boris. I'll be your spook this evening
  on Jun 22, 2013 in Current Affairs
  NIGHT BEAT I'm Boris. I'll be your spook this evening by Jock Stewart, Special Investigative Reporter On the other side of midnight, I discovered that Lucinda's pet hamster Telemachus had busted out of his cage, leaving a trail of shredded...
• President, Congress to be Sequestered at Midnight
  on Mar 1, 2013 in Current Affairs
  Washington, D.C., March 1, 2013 - Due to an unnoticed provision of the Sequestration Transparency Act of 2012, Congress, the President, the President's Cabinet, and the Joint Chiefs of Staff will be sequestered at midnight barring a "last minute...
• High Video Game Score Guarantees Lucrative Government Employment
  on Feb 6, 2013 in Jock Stewart Satire
  Washington, D. C., February 6, 2013 - The millions of kids whom parents once criticized for sitting mindlessly in front of video games now have an opportunity to convert their button-pressing-without-remorse skills into high-paying jobs piloting dron...
• Children's Christmas Classic Sanitized for Today's Slower Children
  on Nov 14, 2012 in Books
  Vancouver, BC, November 14, 2012--According to publisher Grafton and Scratch, Santa himself "edited" Clement Moore's classic "'Twas the Night Before Christmas'" ("A Visit From St. Nicholas") to hide the fact that Mr. Cla...
• 'The Clowns' banned from Presidential Debate
  on Oct 4, 2012 in Current Affairs
  Denver, October 3, 2012--Presidential Debate Control officials have acknowledged that the Junction City, Texas band known as "The Clowns" was banned from the first Presidential debate here today. "It became obvious to us," said FB...
• Robin Redbreast Banned from Alton Butts Elementary in Time for Banned Books Week
  on Sep 26, 2012 in Jock Stewart Satire
  Junction City, TX, September 26, 2012--The Albino County Board of Education announced here today that Robin Redbreast has been banned from the Alton Butts Elementary School library prior to the Banned Books Week deadline of September 30. "Severa...
• 'Jock Talks...Politics' Nominated for 2013 Pushcart Prize
  on Sep 9, 2012 in Books
  Junction City, Texas, September 9, 2012--Lucinda Trail, editor and publisher of the Star-Gazer ever since the newspaper's former editor and publisher Marcus Cash got sent up the river, is happy to announce that her ass-kicking star reporter Jock Stew...

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