Latest Blog Posts for Tales From The Chip Shop Fringe

• This Pageant's A Beauty
  on Jul 17, 2013 in Upper Lower Tollwoodford Massive. Military Baxendale Beauty Pageant Tiara Time
  The butter's churned and the rats are fleeing.  If we don't get out soon it'll be our heads on the knobbing board and the thieves slice is the worst. I don't go in for shady dealings of any sorts, but the sanctity of the Upper Lower Tollwoodford...
• Digging A Hole
  on Jun 19, 2012 in Quite a respectable sort of chap Michelle can't handle her panties It's why I don't pay tax you see
  I'm digging a hole.  I don't why but once these projects get underway they take on a life of their own and the only way forward is completion.  Suffice to say I'm currently languishing thirty feet down in the Buckinghamshire countryside. &n...
• The Championship
  on May 29, 2012 in Bring on chunky butter Spadington Miller Rubby Tumpish Frankle Buthering Sufford Spatch Arnoldson Arnold Arnoldson Sir Desmond Claridge Screwball Scramble Championships Budgy Cripper Biffa Munchkin
  I'll be quick about this 'cos I'm still hurting and I to get away from Ewan and his damn snickering.  Suffice to say shit went down but that's got nothing to do with me.  For those not in the know, I'm gassing about the bitch hot Screwball...
• The Championship
  on May 29, 2012 in Bring on chunky butter Spadington Miller Rubby Tumpish Frankle Buthering Sufford Spatch Arnoldson Arnold Arnoldson Sir Desmond Claridge Screwball Scramble Championships Budgy Cripper Biffa Munchkin
  I'll be quick about this 'cos I'm still hurting and I to get away from Ewan and his damn snickering.  Suffice to say shit went down but that's got nothing to do with me.  For those not in the know, I'm gassing about the bitch hot Screwball...
• Journey To The Centre Of The Countryside
  on May 20, 2012 in The bells of sea city will now never ring Cheers Rocky and you
  Well, Ewan finally found the laptop.  Turns out we'd just left it on the table after our last game of charades.  Problem facing us now is how to get to Cirencester before the bridges close.  I say to myself every year that I won't go,...
• Journey To The Centre Of The Countryside
  on May 20, 2012 in The bells of sea city will now never ring Cheers Rocky and you
  Well, Ewan finally found the laptop.  Turns out we'd just left it on the table after our last game of charades.  Problem facing us now is how to get to Cirencester before the bridges close.  I say to myself every year that I won't go,...
• You Don't Want To Know
  on Aug 25, 2011 in North Wales Naked Farmers Clutch go rock climbing Snowdonia Magic suits the tailors
  Okay, apparently you do. Sometimes Ewan can push a joke too far.  This is why I am currently sat in a damp field in North Wales surrounded by naked farmers while they currently act out the highlights from Shakespeare's Twelfth Night.  Ewa...
• The Olympic Ticket Debacle a.k.a. Dodgy Ronald's Horlicks Emporium
  on Jul 12, 2011 in Horlicks Time to badger the powers that be Mario Kart Olympics petition falls flat on its arse Olympics
  Ewan and I were pretty annoyed when our promised front row seats to the High Jump failed to materialise, so we had to take matters into our own hands if we had any hope of seeing the event. It wasn't until Mike The Shite rocked up at the shop lookin...
• Stumbling Upon The Truth
  on Jun 13, 2011 in The Duckworth Lewis Method Jaffa cakes I've been reading way to many x-men comics
  Things have been slow this week.  They updated the 'Wanted' posters outside the pub and the Local Vandal, Timmy spray painted a giant cock on the croquet lawn.  Aside from these trivialities time drifts along surreptitiously, maki...
• He's Just Rolled A Six, Bastard
  on Jun 4, 2011 in Don't trust a man in a grey suit and a red tie Ewan tells lies
  That bastard butcher has just rolled a six.  I can see it in his eyes; he thinks he can defeat me.  Well this game isn't over yet.  We both have a lot riding on these roles and I'm sure as fuck not losing.  Not again.  I can'...

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