Sometimes the Kids Should Stay Home
on Sep 11, 2009 in Omaha Farmer's Market oversized strollers kids in public race-car grocery cart In today’s baby- and child-obsessed world, parents feel like the world ought to revolve around their children. A friend recently e-mailed me after a torturous trip to her local Hy-Vee store, where they mollycoddle children with giant race-car shopp...

Just Call it a Religion
on Jul 26, 2009 in Big Love religion Incident II Scientology Moroni L. Ron Hubbard Thetan Mormon Mormonism Jon Krakauer Under the Banner of Heaven Joseph Smith Xenu I just finished a fascinating book about the Mormon religion called Under the Banner of Heaven: A Story of Violent Faith by Jon Krakauer. I received the book as a gift from a friend a few years ago. When I opened it, she said, “It’s about crazy,...

FSCs — WTF
on Jun 14, 2009 in Coalition for Fire-Safe Cigarettes tobacco legislation fire safe cigarettes smoking-related fires FSCs smoking legislation Nebraska legislation I thought I was going crazy. I bought a carton of cigarettes right before I went to Las Vegas, and I started the carton on my way to the Omaha airport. Later that night, as I lay in my very uncomfortable hotel bed, (It’s the Imperial Shithole, folk...

Aw, Bats
on Jun 5, 2009 in bats in the house bats tennis racket and dustpan So tonight when I just got out of the shower, I walked into my bedroom and my cat Sebastian was calmly sitting on the bed staring intently at the window shade over the bed. Usually when I walk into a room, he’s all about Mommy. But his eyes were gl...

Just Call Me Batgirl
on Jun 1, 2009 in bat in the house bat in the bedroom I had an intruder in my bedroom last night. I was reading in bed, and at 2 a.m. I decided I was tired enough to sleep, even though I just have a couple pages left in the book I’m reading. So I reached to turn off my bedside lamp, when something sta...

TSA Can Kiss My Ass
on May 31, 2009 in stun gun TSA Transportation Security Administration torch lighters stun gun on airplane airplane security torch lighters on airplanes Returning from Las Vegas yesterday I encountered a Transportation Security Administration issue in the security line at the Las Vegas airport. While in Vegas, I purchased two lighters — one for my sis and one for my brother. As I was under the impr...

Unemployment Is Making Me Fat
on May 25, 2009 in cheap food unemployment recession unhealthy eating stress weight gain Eight months of unemployment is making my gut enormous. I’ve gained five pounds since September. That might not sound bad, but I gained 35 pounds during my thyroid ordeal, and I’m supposed to have lost that weight already — not gained more.Evid...

Ben Becomes Katie
on May 19, 2009 in Ben/Katie gender identity disorder boy-girl transgender children For years I have relished the tales that my friend Betty* used to tell about her son, Ben. Although I haven’t seen Betty in three or four years, little Ben pops into my mind frequently. Even when Ben was 3 years old, Betty knew he was not a normal...

Scammer — A Career I’d Never Contemplated
on Apr 28, 2009 in Hoop It Up stun gun door-to-door scams About a year ago, a man rang my doorbell around 11:30 p.m. He looked like a nice guy — he was a clean, polite, black gentleman in his late 40s or so. I opened the door but kept my screen door locked. He introduced himself as Mr. So-and-So and said...

United Doesn’t Like Big Butts
on Apr 16, 2009 in United Airlines Southwest Airlines overweight passengers fat tax On April 15, United Airlines announced that obese passengers on full flights will have to pay for an extra seat if they are too big to fit in one seat. Oh, so now there’s a fat tax to fly? Actually, United isn’t the first airline to come up with...