Latest Blog Posts for News Grift

• Angela Merkel Yet to Receive Backrub from Obama
  on Mar 11, 2014 in Politics Angel Merkel Backrub Bush Merkel Backrub George W. Bush
  Excerpted from the Berlin Picayune:   One of Germa […]...
• Angela Merkel Yet to Receive Backrub from Obama
  on Mar 10, 2010 in Politics Angel Merkel Backrub Bush Merkel Backrub George W. Bush
  Excerpted from the Berlin Picayune: One of German Chancellor Merkel’s closest advisers, speaking on the condition of anonymity, confirmed the lack of contact between President Obama’s hands and Merkel’s shoulders. “It just has...
• eHarmony Computer Just Messing With People
  on Mar 8, 2010 in Business 29 Dimensions of Compatibility Computer Dating eHarmony Internet Dating Matchmaking
  Excerpted from the Los Angeles Informer: Local widower and San Clemente resident Frederick Crummles thinks the eHarmony matchmaking computer is just messing with him. “It’s clearly messing with me,” Crummles snorted, “There...
• Drive-through Lady Can Tell When It’s James Earl Jones Ordering
  on Jan 13, 2010 in Entertainment CNN Darth Vader Field of Dreams James Earl Jones Star Wars
  Excerpted from the Manhattan Spectrum: Donna Duggerskull, drive-through window employee at a Wendy’s in Brooklyn, says she can always tell when it’s James Earl Jones ordering. “Without a doubt.  His voice is so unique that when it...
• Fans Call for Sacking of Washington Generals GM
  on Dec 2, 2009 in Sports Harlem Globetrotters Matt Millen Washington Generals
  Excerpted from the Baltimore Dispatch: Marcus Duggerskull, head of the Baltimore Chapter of the Washington Generals Fan Club, waved the 5,000 signature petition he gathered calling for the resignation or firing of the Washington Generals GM.  He and...
• Librarian at George W. Bush Presidential Library Thought She’d Have Met Bush by Now
  on Nov 10, 2009 in Politics George H. W. Bush Presidential Library George W. Bush Presidential Library
  Excerpted from the Dallas Wildcatter: George W. Bush Presidential Library librarian Mona Wormwicker expressed surprise that she hadn’t met the former president yet. “It’s not a huge deal, I guess, but I really thought I’d have...
• Bear Patrol Latest Casualty of CA Budget Cuts
  on Nov 2, 2009 in Entertainment Bear Patrol California Much Apu About Nothing Simpsons Springfield Yreka
  Excerpted from the Los Angeles Informer: California state comptroller, Miles Duggerskull, broke the news that the Springfield Bear Patrol had been the latest casualty of the state budget crisis. “It’s with a heavy heart that I announce th...
• Area Man Didn’t Really Lose Virginity at Canadian Summer Camp
  on Oct 26, 2009 in Local, National & World News Canadian Summer Camp Losing Virginity
  Excerpted from the Denver Zephyr: Area resident Montgomery Wormwicker II came clean to his old high school buddies last week. “I finally came clean about my claim of losing my virginity at a Canadian summer camp between my freshman and sophomor...
• Microsoft Releases Windows 7 With New and Improved Blue Screen of Death
  on Oct 15, 2009 in Science & Technology Bill Gates Blue Screen of Death Microsoft Paperclip Office Assistant Windows 7
  Excerpted from the Seattle Galosh Inquisitor: Freelance tech reporter Marco Wormwicker could hardly contain his excitement at the prospect of seeing a new and improved “blue screen of death” twice maybe three times a month. “It̵...
• Colts Offensive Line to Peyton Manning: “Shut Up and Hike the Ball”
  on Sep 25, 2009 in Sports Audible Indianapolis Colts NFL Peyton Manning Peyton Manning Audible
  Excerpted from the Indianapolis Herald Tribune: The Indianapolis offensive line has had enough of quarterback Peyton Manning’s shouting and pointing at the line of scrimmage. Ryan Diem, offensive tackle for the Colts, had this to say: “If...

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