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Rants, photos of people in hideous clothing, the odd serious post.

Owner: pleasedonteatjo

Listed in: Humor

Language: English

Tags: rants, annoying me, life, fashion disasters, work

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Latest Blog Posts for Please Don't Eat With Your Mouth Open

  • "I can't see a way this can work", he said
    on Feb 16, 2015 in being single relationships
    I cried the next morning when I woke up before my alarm, and then I cried in the shower.I cried on the bus, looking out of the window.I cried at my desk, really discreetly, and in the toilets at work.I cried because I was frustrated, I cried because...
  • Flight mode
    on Jan 29, 2015 in being single relationships
    I don't know what's going on. This is a hard thing for me to admit, and write down, and say out loud.The last time I said it out loud was in a pub last week, and then I cried while my mate looked concerned and her boyfriend hugged me as their ba...
  • Middle of the bed
    on Dec 15, 2014 in being single relationships
    I've spent a lot of time over the last few years getting used to being ok by myself.And by this, I don't mean tolerating singledom until the next bloke comes along - I mean actually, genuinely thinking "if it ended up being just me, that would be ok"...
  • A small little shift
    on Nov 6, 2014 in being single random relationships
    The covers move beside me.My eyes are shut - I'm only half awake but I'm listening. Unused to sharing my sleeping space, I wake up at every slight turn (although I pretend not to).I'm facing the other way, identifying the sounds as they happen: he ge...
  • Learning to date
    on Oct 23, 2014 in being single
    For a while, it seemed like everyone in the world was going on dates except me.My mates always seemed to have a bloke on the go. When one dropped off the radar, another would take their place, and all the while I'd sit there listening, watching their...
  • The internet is playing a trick on usLots of us, my generation, are guilty of falling for it. We're constantly, unknowingly seduced by numbers (over a thousand followers? Must be a big deal) and faces (the featureless, flattering photos of Instagram) and other people's life events...
  • All the little places
    on Sep 22, 2014 in being single relationships
    I was 16 when I fell in an approximation of love for the first time.At that age, I had no idea that there would be others after him. It was just all completely new, that rush of lovely reciprocated feelings, and because I didn't yet realise that boys...
  • Are we friends yet?
    on Aug 25, 2014 in being single relationships
    For the second time in as many weeks, my body reacted like it'd been given bad news.My phone lit up on the desk at work, his name on the screen again, and my stomach dropped an inch or two. For gods sake, what now?The rejection had dissipated slightl...
  • This is all I know at the moment
    on Jul 14, 2014 in being single relationships
    If there was ever a way to press pause on a moment and bottle it, now would be the perfect time.This is what's going through my head as I lie there fully clothed, the thumping hangover slowly worsening or abating, I can't tell which.Hip hop plays low...
  • Changing states of mind
    on Jun 22, 2014 in being single relationships
    "If you like someone, you don't mind getting two texts in a row from them.""Either do it now, or do it tomorrow.""I think just do it now. No games. You want to see him, so just ask.""God, I haven't seen you like this before."My mind was in a state of...
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