Humor news site providing a satirical spin to current news and the human condition.

Owner: IHacklesworth

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Latest Blog Posts for The Hacklesworth Report

  • SONY to Change Passwords
    on Dec 19, 2014 in Entertainment News
    [Hollywood]  SONY Pictures is updating their password policy after being hacked this week.  SONY co-chair Amy Pascal announced the new security updates in a memo sent by email to all SONY employees. “As you know by now,” said the memo f...
  • NYC Opens Nation’s 1st Disabled Fire Co[New York City]  Mayor Bill DeBlahsio announced this morning that New York City’s newest fire station is operated entirely by disabled persons in wheelchairs.  The new NYFD Hook, Ladder & Wheelchair Company Number 1 will be located under...
  • Neanderthal Ghosts Haunt French Town
    on Dec 1, 2014 in News Paranormal
    [Biblioteque sur ma Tante, France]  This small town about ninety kilometers from Paris is usually missed by tourists, but that might be about to change, thanks to a haunting by Neanderthal Ghosts. “They are ‘uge, ugly men with poor body...
  • Painting “Old Time Thanksgiving” Donated to KC Museum
    on Nov 27, 2014 in Culture News thanksgiving
    [Kansas City]  The Kansas City Museum of Art and Animal Husbandry received a surprise gift just in time for Thanksgiving.  Wealthy financier Curtis Haggle announced on Wednesday that he has donated the 1889 painting “Old Time Thanksgiving...
  • Psychologist: Ferguson Riots are Self-Therapy[San Francisco]  Burning Therapy: The Healing Power of Combustion and Vandalism is the latest book by noted California Psychologist Emil Geisteskranke, PhD, whose previous book The Holocaust: A Cry for Help from Hitler’s Inner Child  caused c...
  • Ferguson Protestor: They Burned My Car!
    on Nov 26, 2014 in News
    [Ferguson, Misery] Hillary St John, a political science major from Wells College in Aurora, New York, returned to her parked car last night after participating in the Ferguson riots only to find that protestors had burned her 2014 Lexus almost beyond...
  • Farmer fined for Pregnant Turkey Sales
    on Nov 25, 2014 in Animals News
    [Flemington, NJ]. For the second Thanksgiving in a row, Hunterdon County farmer Nick Rosecrans of Harmony Farms has been fined for selling pregnant turkeys from his roadside stand. At his hearing before Circuit Judge Robert Haines, Rosecrans was warn...
  • Black Author Wants Murder Parity with Whites
    on Nov 25, 2014 in Culture News
    [Washington, DC]  White on White Homicide is out of control in America, according to the latest statistics published by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, while Blacks are denied equal opportunities to kill their own kind by increased racial profi...
  • 5 Reasons to Say Bill Cosby Raped You
    on Nov 21, 2014 in Entertainment News
    Supposedly, Bill Cosby is a serial rapist, but isn’t it a little odd for so many women to come forward so many years later and accuse him?  So far, eighteen. Now, they may all be telling the Truth, but why did they wait decades before coming f...
  • Turkey Senses a Disturbance in Force
    on Nov 20, 2014 in Animals Culture News thanksgiving turkeys
    [Timberville, Virginia] On a Pilgrimage this week to the Shrine of Saint Tom, Patron Saint of Turkeys, President Gob of the Confederacy of Turkeys reported feeling a chill go down his spine. “There was a disturbance in the Force,” said Go...
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