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Thoughts, observations and imaginations.

Owner: ranislapstick

Listed in: Personal

Language: English

Tags: humorous, observational, political, imaginative, personal

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Latest Blog Posts for Rani Writes..

  • Flashers, guerrilla art and chocolate buttons.The clouds were pink above the common, backlit by the winter sun as it slipped behind the horizon. You’d have to be dead inside not to have been impressed by it, such a privilege to see. I stopped to absorb the full majesty of it while The Roo...
  • Nan Love.
    on Feb 5, 2016 in Uncategorized love nan sexual assault
    It was about 10 years ago when I sexually assaulted my nan. She’d recently had a fall and I’d gone to check on her, bringing flowers and good intentions. I’d made her tea just how she liked it and filled a saucer with chocolate dige...
  • Disappear from view.As a child I believed that closing my eyes made me become invisible. I practised it at home, on buses and while out shopping with my mum, stealing little 10 second ‘disappearances’ whenever I could. It gave me a sense of comfort and security, and...
  • Night Recycles.
    on Jan 22, 2016 in Uncategorized 3a.m recycle bins
    I get woken most nights around 3a.m by the lids slamming of the recycle bins outside. I’m usually frolicking somewhere deep in my sub-concious when it happens and find it impossible to return to the same place afterwards. In one motion I bound...
  • Insect Clothes.
    on Jan 15, 2016 in Uncategorized Insects wash clothes
    I had no idea that my clothes were made from insects, but there they were, suspended in the thickness of the water, alien-like micro-beasts. From tiny, harmless spidery ones to larger predatory types with jaggy pincers and weaponised tails, they circ...
  • Gone to the dark side.I’ve started the year badly and stolen from the Co-op. I’ve no real knowledge of how the Co-op is run, but have always been under the impression that it gives its staff a better deal and operates more ethically than the bigger chains. For...
  • Out of days, out of sorts, out of toilet roll.None would even acknowledge her. There must have been half a dozen, carrying bags swollen with grub and stepping around the copies of the Big Issue that had slid out of her rucksack across the pavement. She was clearly in trouble, slumped against the...
  • A Christmas Glory.I awoke with an erect penis. It was probably no different to the one I have most mornings, but with it being Christmas I felt that it had added meaning and wasn’t something to be dealt with in my normal, efficient way. I wondered if it was a gi...
  • Grand Theft Auto.The car had clearly been dumped. The bodywork was thick with grime, both remaining tyres were flat, the windscreen had long seen a tax disc and there was a faded official notice taped to it. We were in agreement, it was fine, the gods of fair play wo...
  • Wedding Photography Pt2- The Shootout.Just as the calender had predicted the day of reckoning had arrived. The posh nuns were everywhere, carrying trays, wheeling things about and generally in a flap. A man who was the spit of Barry Mcguigan whooshed up and down the hallways, tweaking fl...
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