JOURNAL: Alone...?
on May 22, 2009 in undefined I feel quite alone, no matter where I go or who I'm with. It is still alone... I don't know how to explain it, and for the most part it doesn't bother me. But sometimes the "alone" can turn into "lonely" and I can crave comfort from someone. I don't...

JOURNAL: A break from school, sorta!
on Apr 30, 2009 in journal i am done with the spring semester. WHEW. although i officially lost my 4.0. which i kinda hate. my smartness, my intelligence, is the only thing i have. and now it is gone. i don't have anything left that makes me special or anything. that was my de...

JOURNAL: ???
on Apr 28, 2009i don't know anymore. i had a comment, on one of my posts that i wrote when i was half out of my head, and the comment said "basically your a dumb selfish bitch" (they did write "your" instead of "you're". that's annoying).i read the post, i was out...

JOURNAL: Happy? Or not?
on Apr 26, 2009 in journal i did some thinking today, i was really thinking pretty darn hard.and... i don't know if i am "happy". i mean, i have happy moments, and there are things in my life that i am thankful for, and i know i am lucky and i generally try to not complain and...

JOURNAL: My "weight" rant earlier today...
on Apr 26, 2009 in journal "i need to vent to someone that won't just placate me and say stupidly empty nice things""srsly. i have gotten fat. i hate myself. i am disgusting. i hate myself. i am disgusting. oh and btw, did i mention that i hate myself??? yeah. bc i pretty much...

RESEARCH: Borderline Personality Disorder
on Apr 21, 2009 in school borderline personality disorder this is my research paper i did... the formatting is kinda screwy bc i copy and pasted it from a Word.doc. enjoy :)Frontolimbic Circuit and Ventromedial Prefrontal Cortex Pathology in Borderline Personality Disorder SUMMARY: Patients wit...

JOURNAL: bad day
on Apr 10, 2009 in depression journal school i don't know why. my brain isn't functioning. i'm not thinking and having a hell of a time comprehending the words on the pages of my book. and i put too much pressure on myself to get perfect grades bc i'm obsessive and i know it' not good to do tha...

JOURNAL: Lamictal and concentration
on Apr 10, 2009 in journal no concentration Lamictal crap. today i have been struggling with the fact i do not have ANY concentraiton. it's making the school thing really really really difficult today. i read stuff, and i can sense it, i am aware of sensing it, but somewhere along the route to my brain...

JOURNAL" Agitated Depression
on Apr 8, 2009 in depression journal mixed stress is a trigger for me being nuts. so at the moment, i am stressed the fuck out. freaking out in a paranoid fashion about everything. can't concentrate, can't make sense of the words i read in my books. everything is foreign and i am detached. i...

JOURNAL: a wee out of control
on Apr 7, 2009 in symptom control journal stress mixed ativan if i were a fly to follow me around and watch my behavior when i am losing it from stress and in a mixed state, i swear to god i would probably laugh so hard i could no longer fly. seriously. i'man idiot when i get like this. i walk around saying thi...