Women, can’t live with them, can’t smother them with cushions and get away with it
on Nov 19, 2009 in Uncategorized Dear Maxi, I’ve been having a problem lately.  I don’t quite know how to put this delicately, especially as it could end up printed in a newspaper, but it’s my boyfriend.  He just doesn’t understand me, or my need for cushions.  He simply...

Wankathon ‘09
on Nov 18, 2009 in Uncategorized I used to work with a guy who once said that he had wanked 7 times in a row out of pure boredom.  7 times!  I wasn’t convinced so I tried it for myself.  Didn’t work, couldn’t even finish the first one.  Can’t blame him re...

Career re-think
on Nov 18, 2009 in Uncategorized I had a post all ready for you loverly people to read, but instead I have to deal with some bad news. I usually don’t like to add to the world of bad news that people deal with everyday, in the news or their own lives.  But today I have to bur...

Alright class, settle down
on Nov 16, 2009 in Uncategorized Today we’re going to talk about hermaphrodites. Hermaphrodites, as you will all know from every Lady Gaga video, are ladies who have man bits.  Or if you watch Telly Bingo, a man with lady bits. Think about this for a minute: A hermaphrodite w...

What cold showers are for
on Nov 15, 2009 in Uncategorized You know when you have just worked a 20 hour shift, because two staff have called in sick even though you know they’re just hungover and you have to deliver breakfast in bed to the newlyweds in the honeymoon suite? No? It’s a proper cunt...

Wank of the Week
on Nov 12, 2009 in Uncategorized Ah Kate Winslet. Let me count the ways. 1. First of all I’m going to run a nice bubble bath with the purple lavender crap herself has lying around the place.  Then I’m going to light some incest incense and some candles.  Then I’...

I thought girls didn’t fart and I should be gay
on Nov 11, 2009 in Uncategorized I was always lead to believe that girls were sweet things.  When I was growing up, girls were girly girls with fancy paper and pink things and pig tails who smelled like flowers.  Not like boys who were dirty and scruffy and covered in snot and sme...

Things I miss from my childhood
on Nov 11, 2009 in Uncategorized We all miss things from our child hood.  Not a care in the world.  The games we’d play were always so simple.  Kick the can, Rounders, Tease the Pedo.  All great craic. What’s that you say? You’ve never played Tease the Pedo? I...

Word association
on Nov 9, 2009 in Uncategorized semi...

It’s been bugging me for a while
on Nov 9, 2009 in Uncategorized