Latest Blog Posts for the squatting dog

• The Greatest Drinking Story Ever Told
  on Oct 3, 2010
  This is a story that has become truly legendary among myself and my friends, and this is actually the first time I have ever written it down.  I have always busted this one out when friends and I are sitting around drinking beer and swapping stories...
• God Hates Morons Who Spew Hate
  on Sep 1, 2010 in westboro baptist church funeral protest shirley phelps god hatesfags christians topeka kansas megan phelps fred phelps
  I recently found out about some assholes who like to protest at Military funerals.  They are the Westboro Baptist Church, a psychotically fanatical Christian sect led by one Fred Phelps.  Phelps is a "preacher" who aside from being a tax-...
• Poetry Corner, With John F Kennedy...
  on Oct 16, 2009 in Marilyn Monroe President JFK Poetry
  OH Marilyn, you are my favorite thing for my bone to be buried in...
• In effort to prove Prize's complete irrelevance, Nobel Committee awards Peace prize to President who has done absolutely nothing
  on Oct 12, 2009 in President Chess Obama McCain Lennox Lewis Carrot Top Nobel Prize Count Chocula
  NORWAY-  In a surprise turn of events, the Nobel Prize Committee has bestowed its 2009 Peace Prize on yet another President who has done nothing, an action that has gotten most people thinking, "who the fuck cares about the Nobel Peace prize an...
• Happy Arthur Guinness Day
  on Sep 24, 2009 in Beer Drinking Guinness
  It is a well known fact that I love Guinness.  Best fucking beer on the planet.  And today is Arthur Guinness Day, celebrating 250 years of Guinness.  Arthur Guinness bought a 9000 year lease of the St. James Gate Brewery, just to ensure that ever...
• Jesus would be so much cooler if he had a video game...
  on Sep 23, 2009
   Jesus lookin' gangsta, 'bout to bus' a cap....That foo' Judas, That bitch Pontius Pilate, and everyone in the Roman crew be TOTALLY fucked.  The Lord wields a crazy big gat.
• Cutler, Upset by Orton Jokes, Decides to Actually Play Football This Week.
  on Sep 21, 2009 in NFL Cutler Chicago Sports Bears Football Steelers
  CHICAGO-Jay Cutler, new franchise quarterback for the Chicago Bears responded on the field today to those questioning his QB skills. Last week, Cutler threw a total of four interceptions, many Bears fans voiced disgust with comments such as this: &...
• Cutler Upset by Orton Jokes, Decides to Actually Play Football This Week.
  on Sep 21, 2009 in NFL Cutler Chicago Sports Bears Football Steelers
  CHICAGO-Jay Cutler, new franchise quarterback for the Chicago Bears responded on the field today to those questioning his QB skills. Last week, Cutler threw a total of four interceptions, many Bears fans voiced disgust with comments such as this: &...
• You're not an Alcoholic, You're just a quitter
  on Sep 20, 2009 in Wine Beer Alcoholic The Police Drinking Henry Earl
  Its 11 AM.  You just woke up.  Looking around, you realize you dont know where the hell you are.  The room smells like something unspeakable happened there.  In the corner is a pair of your pants, soaked through with urine, laying next to an empt...
• THIS JUST IN! I fucking suck ass at Call of Duty 4
  on Sep 20, 2009 in XBox Live Call of Duty Modern Warfare XBox
  So I played Call of Duty 4 against some co workers tonight, I've never played before, and learned one cold hard incontrovertible truth: I am officially the worst fucking COD player on the goddamn planet.  I went one on one against a guy whos had the...

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