Death Panel interviews
on Dec 31, 1969Recruiting efforts are now in high-gear to staff up the newly commissioned Death Panels in Bizarreville.  As you know, these are the panels that will ultimately decide if grammaw gets that 3rd hip replacement in lieu of a nicely rehabbed wheelchair.

Pandemic of hairy reed syndrome causing widespread brain damage
on Dec 31, 1969The Bizarreville Center for Disease Control reports that Hairy Reed syndrome is quickly reaching pandemic levels.  All medical offices are on full alert.  Of particular concern is the number of advanced cases where the thatches of hair follicle gro...

Sixth consecutive month of job loss avoidances is clear evidence of economic rebound
on Dec 31, 1969The Bizarreville Labor Dept is proud to announce that another 50 thousand job losses were avoided last month.  This marks the 6th consecutive month of job loss avoidances, which Dept officials cite as evidence of a significant rebound in the economy...

Union Leader Randy Spurn calls Adam Smith a crackpot
on Dec 31, 1969In a recent interview with Randy Spurn, the head of Bizarreville's largest service employees union, the BSEIU, our reporter probed into his deep beliefs on capitalism vis-a-vis other economic models. "The problem basically goes back 223 years when t...

Commie Michael Moorebird having trouble getting out of Cuba
on Dec 31, 1969We are continuing to follow the news story about Michael Moorebird's ill-fated Commie Experience Cruise to Cuba, as well the arduous ordeals Michael has personally gone through. His story has captured the hearts, while unclenching the stomachs, of au...

Which Mao are we talking about here?
on Dec 31, 1969Suddenly, its seem there is a nouveaux love affair with the bizarre teachings of Mao among some of the Port tack whacks.  Mao?  Killer of millions of his own people?  That Mao?  Huh? Turns out, it was all a big mistake.  They weren't quoting th...

Anti-capitalist Michael Moorebird hailed in Bizarreville
on Dec 31, 1969Michael Moorebird, the genius expert on World Economic systems and part-time screwball movie producer, gave a stirring speech at the Bizarreville Moose Lodge last Thursday evening.  He was also pitching his new book: Communist Manifesto, the Sequel.

2016 Olympic site
on Dec 31, 1969Bizarreville's committee has submitted its proposal to become the 2016 Olympic site.  Competition will be tough.  Chicago seems to be a front-runner, with its first-class facilities, park settings with skyline backdrop, restaurants/bars, and fun th...

The Nancy Ex-Pelosion jolts the city
on Dec 31, 1969A large blast was felt by the citizens in Bizarreville's capital yesterday, measuring over 150 decibels.  Initially, authorities thought it was a whacko terrorist bomb, but the secret service could see no tell-tale smoke or fire, nor any shifty Isla...

Bank Execs, out of drug rehab, ready to restore public confidence
on Dec 31, 1969Bizi Bank has been on hard times.  Of course, it all started when they made all those bad loans...millions and millions in stupid, numbskull loans approved by the Loan Board that, sadly, had that bout with marijuana addictions... what were they call...