It is ON, muthafuckas!!!
on Nov 21, 2009 in Uncategorized boozery fucktards Girl Scouts i am bat-shit insane Lobster The Mutation weaponry Last Fourth of July, Lobster and I made plans to hang out because we have no other friends.  I drove over to his house to pick him up, since he doesn’t have a car. I called him as I arrived, and he told me that we should smoke before we left.

Geography is SOOOO hard!!!
on Nov 20, 2009 in Uncategorized fucktards i am bat-shit insane i will teach you things My Brother the olden days Since my British pen-pal Helen gave me a shout-out on her blog, I will do likewise. When she and I first starting chatting, she was embarrassed to admit she didn’t know where Oregon was.  Totally not a problem, since she’s lived in the U...

It’s a world of laughter, a world of tears
on Nov 19, 2009 in Uncategorized i am bat-shit insane My mom the olden days Back in 2001, my parents took my brother and I to Kauai for Christmas/ our birthdays.  Kauai is a tiny island, mainly set up for honeymooning couples or families with young kids.  Since our family was neither of those things (I was 20, and my bro w...

Lobster loves pie and I should have my own show on the Food Network
on Nov 18, 2009 in Uncategorized delicious food i am an idiot Kitten Lobster Today is Lobster’s birthday.  He is old. Last year, for the two weeks prior to his birthday, he would not shut the fuck up about pie. One night, he and Kitten were at work, and a song by the band Cake came on the radio. Kitten said, “Ug,...

This was not what I signed up for
on Nov 17, 2009 in Uncategorized ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME?!? Aunt Crazy Pills fucktards pervs random weirdos The Kid (The Bastard) uncle fighting illini welfare slug cousin Since Sunday afternoon, I’ve been baby/house/dogsitting for my Aunt Crazy Pills and Uncle Fighting Illini. They’re my aunt and uncle who are raising their grandchild, my cousin’s son. Welfare Slug Cousin had a baby when she was 19,...

The DMV is a circus and I pissed off Lobster so bad, he called me a bitch
on Nov 14, 2009 in Uncategorized boozery fucktards i am bat-shit insane Lobster random weirdos the meanest wife ever The Mill Lobster’s  license expired last year on his birthday.  If you don’t renew it before your next birthday (next Tuesday for him), then you have to take the driving tests all over again.  Unfortunately, he decided to deny me the pleasure o...

I need to stop watching the news
on Nov 12, 2009 in Uncategorized the anxieties Seriously.  I just end up depressed.  And then write depressing posts.  SO DON’T READ THIS IF YOU ARE DEPRESSED.   In the past week, there have been THREE murder/suicides in my area.  THREE. Last week, a man killed his ex-girlfriend an...

Americans . . .you need to honor your Veterans and your Country
on Nov 11, 2009 in Uncategorized hypocrisy the olden days When I was 11, my mom had to travel to Bethesda, Maryland, to take classes for work.  It was the summertime, so she enlisted her mother to come with her to babysit my brother and I.  We were gone for 3 weeks. In those 3 weeks, we traveled up and do...

I hate Goatees
on Nov 10, 2009 in Uncategorized i am bat-shit insane pervs the anxieties the olden days Trek (I’m about 75% of the way through my self-imposed quest to watch the entire Star Trek franchise in chronological order.) In the Star Trek universe, Starfleet’s fancy technology tends to screw things up a lot.  At least once a season, fo...

Yes, I understand the irony of me writing this post
on Nov 10, 2009 in Uncategorized fucktards hypocrisy random weirdos Right after I got fired,  my unemployment claim wasn’t approved for a month afterwards.  So I went through all my possessions, looking for things I could get rid of, to make a little money.  I posted a shit ton of stuff on Amazon, and spent...