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This Seattle stay-at-home mom is the uncontested winner of hoards of imaginary and completely absurd awards including slap-yer-knee funniest blog, all-time best stories, and the highly prestigious "this woman is downright mad" award.

Owner: bananas

Listed in: Family

Language: English

Tags: humor, mom, seattle, stay at home mom

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Latest Blog Posts for Absolutely Bananas

  • Busing itSo it’s been four months since my last post. I wish I could say I’d been off doing something thrilling and dramatic like skydiving or winning the lottery or stealing cars. But the simple truth is that I’ve mainly been sitting on b...
  • Our dog has hypnotic powers
    on Feb 6, 2010 in Uncategorized bella dog
    A lot of people don’t know this, but our dog Bella has hypnotic powers. You’ll be sitting at the dinner table, eating a piece of pizza, when you feel these strange… impulses. Admit it, if you HAD a piece of pizza, you totally w...
  • Doppleganger schmoppleganger
    on Jan 30, 2010 in Uncategorized facebook funny vanity
    It’s DOPPLEGANGER week on facebook. And if you don’t know what I mean by that, clearly you need to get a life. Doppleganger week is where people on Facebook replace their profile picture with a picture of the celebrity they look like. Lik...
  • 40 things worse than turning 40
    on Jan 21, 2010 in Uncategorized age jay lists
    Next week Jay turns the big four-oh. He’s dreading it, but I keep telling him THERE ARE WORSE THINGS! Like, for example… 1. Being eaten by wolves 2. Getting your leg caught in a meat grinder 3. Poking your eye out 4. Running over a baby b...
  • PainSaturday morning I woke up to blaring back pain. Back pain so intense that I literally wept as I pried myself out of bed. One leg over the side. OUCH! Then the other leg. OUCH! Pull myself up to sitting. OUCH! OUCH! OUCH! Ever-so-slowly I ease to s...
  • Dear Santa“Mommy, what do you REALLY want Santa to bring you for Christmas?” CJ sits up and look at me with an expression of great seriousness. “Hmm… well… I guess I don’t really know,” I say. “I’ll have to...
  • Vaccinate this.In the last two weeks I have had swine flu and/or pneumonia about sixteen times. Now, when I say I “had” those things I don’t mean that I actually had them, but that I was pretty sure (100% confident) that I had them. Swine flu. And...
  • Alarming
    on Sep 19, 2009 in up close and personal home alone
    It used to be that whenever Jay would travel and leave CJ and I home alone, I didn’t sleep. I heard noises and thumps and bumps and I fretted and spent night after night in a half-wakened state of terrified delirium. Until we bought the alarm.
  • The good neighborCJ and I are walking to the neighborhood coffee shop when out of the blue he says to me, “Mommy I cannot believe ALL THIS LITTER! How can people litter like this?” He shakes his head, horrified. “I don’t know,” I say. &#...
  • Mamma said there’ll be days like thisWe all have deep dark secrets and I’ll confess one of mine if you don’t judge me. Sometimes I feel superior and smug. Like I’m a GOOD mom and I have my life all sorted out and my child is well behaved. Until the inevitable cosmic s...
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