The Hacklesworth Report Blog Posts

  • SONY to Change Passwords
    on Dec 19, 2014 in Entertainment News
    [Hollywood]  SONY Pictures is updating their password policy after being hacked this week.  SONY co-chair Amy Pascal announced the new security updates in a memo sent by email to all SONY employees. “As you know by now,” said the memo f...
  • NYC Opens Nation’s 1st Disabled Fire Co[New York City]  Mayor Bill DeBlahsio announced this morning that New York City’s newest fire station is operated entirely by disabled persons in wheelchairs.  The new NYFD Hook, Ladder & Wheelchair Company Number 1 will be located under...
  • Neanderthal Ghosts Haunt French Town
    on Dec 1, 2014 in News Paranormal
    [Biblioteque sur ma Tante, France]  This small town about ninety kilometers from Paris is usually missed by tourists, but that might be about to change, thanks to a haunting by Neanderthal Ghosts. “They are ‘uge, ugly men with poor body...
  • Painting “Old Time Thanksgiving” Donated to KC Museum
    on Nov 27, 2014 in Culture News thanksgiving
    [Kansas City]  The Kansas City Museum of Art and Animal Husbandry received a surprise gift just in time for Thanksgiving.  Wealthy financier Curtis Haggle announced on Wednesday that he has donated the 1889 painting “Old Time Thanksgiving...
  • Ferguson Protestor: They Burned My Car!
    on Nov 26, 2014 in News
    [Ferguson, Misery] Hillary St John, a political science major from Wells College in Aurora, New York, returned to her parked car last night after participating in the Ferguson riots only to find that protestors had burned her 2014 Lexus almost beyond...
  • Psychologist: Ferguson Riots are Self-Therapy[San Francisco]  Burning Therapy: The Healing Power of Combustion and Vandalism is the latest book by noted California Psychologist Emil Geisteskranke, PhD, whose previous book The Holocaust: A Cry for Help from Hitler’s Inner Child  caused c...
  • Black Author Wants Murder Parity with Whites
    on Nov 25, 2014 in Culture News
    [Washington, DC]  White on White Homicide is out of control in America, according to the latest statistics published by the Federal Bureau of Investigation, while Blacks are denied equal opportunities to kill their own kind by increased racial profi...
  • Farmer fined for Pregnant Turkey Sales
    on Nov 25, 2014 in Animals News
    [Flemington, NJ]. For the second Thanksgiving in a row, Hunterdon County farmer Nick Rosecrans of Harmony Farms has been fined for selling pregnant turkeys from his roadside stand. At his hearing before Circuit Judge Robert Haines, Rosecrans was warn...
  • 5 Reasons to Say Bill Cosby Raped You
    on Nov 21, 2014 in Entertainment News
    Supposedly, Bill Cosby is a serial rapist, but isn’t it a little odd for so many women to come forward so many years later and accuse him?  So far, eighteen. Now, they may all be telling the Truth, but why did they wait decades before coming f...
  • Turkey Senses a Disturbance in Force
    on Nov 20, 2014 in Animals Culture News thanksgiving turkeys
    [Timberville, Virginia] On a Pilgrimage this week to the Shrine of Saint Tom, Patron Saint of Turkeys, President Gob of the Confederacy of Turkeys reported feeling a chill go down his spine. “There was a disturbance in the Force,” said Go...
  • If You Allege Bill Cosby Raped You…
    on Nov 19, 2014 in Culture News
    Please sign in using this online petition: http://www.ipetitions.com/petition/list-of-persons-allegedly-raped-by-bill-cosby Bill Cosby The post If You Allege Bill Cosby Raped You… appeared first on Hacklesworth.com.
  • AA Spins off New Group, Dry Drunks Anon
    on Nov 19, 2014 in Culture Healthcare News
    [Washington, DC] Yielding to pressure from a majority of its membership, the Policy Council of Anonymous Alcoholics has created a new group named DDA, Dry Drunks Anonymous. The new 13th step group will be chartered this week and members ejected from...
  • Psych Treatment Reorients Patient to Reality
    on Nov 18, 2014 in Healthcare News
    [Vienna, Austria] SSO (Selective Sanity Overloading) is a new controversial Psych Treatment or psychiatric technique that utilizes a mechanical intervention carefully carefully crafted to protect patients from discomfort when confronted with any upse...
  • Sharpton Protests ‘Racist’ Ebola Deaths
    on Nov 17, 2014 in Culture Healthcare News
    [DEVELOPING NEWS...] Civil Rights Leader Al “Slim Shady” Sharpton is questioning why only African Americans have died of Ebola in the US and why hospitals have saved all the White People who were infected with the deadly virus. “Rig...
  • Knight Rider Car Living Under Bridge
    on Nov 17, 2014 in Entertainment News
    [Los Angeles] KITT (Knight Industries Two Thousand), the star of the hit ’80’s TV series Knight Rider, has been discovered living under a bridge in Los Angeles. The modified 1982 Pontiac Trans Am’s last television appearance was in...
  • New App Checks Your White Privilege
    on Nov 15, 2014 in Culture News Technology
    [New York, New York, a helluva town] A new phone app for both iPhone and Android devices helps people to quickly check their White Privilege for speedier responses when challenged by persons offended that anyone has a different opinion about somethin...
  • Student Warns ‘Not F-ing Wid You No Mo’
    on Nov 14, 2014 in Culture News
    [Nutley, New Jersey] Nutley Regional Magnet Consolidated High School Sophomore Student Travis Whitman, Jr. has announced on Twitter and Facebook that he has had ‘enough of your bulls***’ and is “not f***ing wid you no mo”. His...
  • Dems Want Name Change for Pipeline
    on Nov 14, 2014 in News Technology
    [Washington, DC] In a surprise move aimed at Congressional Republicans, House and Senate Democrats have approved a plan to change the name of the Keystone Pipeline to the Big N****** & P**** Monkey Pipeline so approval of the pipeline cannot be...
  • Nicki Minaj Next Video Homage to Pol Pot
    on Nov 13, 2014 in Culture Entertainment News
    [Los Angeles] A spokesperson for Nicki Minaj announced this morning that Nicky Minaj’ next video will be an homage to Cambodian dictator Pol Pot. The video, slated for an early Spring release, will be shot in the historic location of the so-cal...
  • NYC Mayor Bans Standing Urination
    on Nov 12, 2014 in Uncategorized
    [New York] A ban on standing urination has been proposed as part of NYC Mayor Bill DeBlasio’s Fairness in Public Access project. The ban applies to public and private urination by both male and female urinators. “Standing urination is an...
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